As we approach the end of Pride Month, I want to emphasize the importance of maintaining our mental health with an inclusive focus on love and self-acceptance. Coming out later in life, at 49 years old, just two years ago, I vividly remember the fear and anxiety that accompanied my journey. I worried about how others would perceive me and feared judgment. For those of you who are out or contemplating coming out, I want to stress the necessity of loving yourself. Your truth is uniquely yours, and although some may not understand, it is your right to live authentically.
Embracing this truth is easier said than done. It took me nearly five decades to live openly, something I never thought possible. Within the LGBTQ+ community, many of us face the stressors of discrimination, social stigma, and the pressures associated with coming out or remaining closeted. Acknowledging and accepting the hidden parts of ourselves can be mentally and emotionally taxing.
Reflecting on my own experience, I knew I was attracted to the same sex from the age of seven. For years, I suppressed this part of myself, often experiencing my own brand of self-hatred. Even after coming out, I struggled with the remnants of my past self who had been silenced for so long. It took time to feel comfortable in my own skin. A year after deciding to live authentically and openly as a queer woman, I sought therapy to help me navigate the journey of self-love and acceptance. This was a significant step, as seeking mental health support was often frowned upon in the African-American community during my upbringing. While I am still a work in progress, therapy has profoundly impacted my life, empowering me to foster a positive self-identity and handle social challenges with greater resilience.
There are many online therapy options available; I encourage you to research and find a therapist who specializes in working with LGBTQ+ individuals. I've worked with two incredible therapists at different stages of my journey, both providing me with a safe space for difficult conversations. Additionally, I have an outstanding spiritual coach who has guided me towards accepting unconditional self-love without judgment. These professionals have equipped me with invaluable tools that have significantly improved my quality of life.
Although I still have much to learn and grow, I am proud of how far I've come. Remember, you are not alone, and you are loved regardless of what anyone else might say or think. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Get the support and the help YOU need for yourself!! If you have read this far, I AM PROUD OF YOU!!
Written by Ronke Paterson, The Blooming Late Bloomer
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About the Author
A native of Virginia, Ronke received her Bachelor's degree and Masters in Public Administration from Virginia Commonwealth University. At age 49, she began a healing journey and made the decision to "come out" about her sexuality. While Ronke admittedly does not have a lot of experience being out, she has significant experience being in. She has a passion to create spaces for other women who may be adjusting to living their truth out loud, or who have decided to live their truth inside. Ronke's comedic and personable personality affords her the opportunity to interact with all kinds of people, bringing humor, storytelling and love to the discussions.
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